A moment for the self…
My heart had waited along the shores of my dreams. Woven with seaweed and illuminating strings of pearls, it sang a sweet desire. Uncontrollably savouring every moment that lay there glistening towards me, I began to write. An inner calling that till today, danced along my ears. Reminding me of the beauty in uncertainty. Pleasurable, sporadic moments, unplanned such as the taste of the wine he poured for me that one afternoon. My name is Desiree, most of my friends know me as Desire. Yes, it was real. He was real. And she was present. As these beads roll down my collar bone and into my palms, I hesitate to unhook the lock pressed tightly against my nape. The scent of rainfall and Chardonnay surrounding and smothering my mirror of an engulfing haze. As my memories became saturated with colour, a portal of time appeared. I entered into a haven of grapevines…
Today: August 15th
The sun’s rays emit an uncertain warmth that lifted the golden-brown hair along my knuckles. My mother never would let me wax them and so I never did. It was just last year when my friends and I were discussing how important it is to care for yourself. But how does this relate to one’s natural hairs? Though, my knuckles aren’t adorned with anything except for my late grandmother’s pearl inlay ring.
Life, a whirlwind of emotion with an outlook on the world which I did not have.
The scent of lavender filled the air as we drove up to the vineyards. I wanted to get back to the city. I wasn’t healthy enough for this lifestyle. My kaleidoscope world involved late night bars and a nine-five work ethic. Once I arrived home, I would wear my spectacles while socializing in the corner of a warehouse. I enjoyed one on one socials and wore the same jewelry every day to work; my watch.
Why was everyone so happy? What was so uplifting about commercial vineyards? The margarita pizza was twenty-four dollars!
I wished that my thoughts were as clear as this beautiful sky. With its clarity so surreal. The turquoise washes resonated with my sea-green pressed stones. I always knew they’d come to benefit me one day. I was told that they have healing powers so why not, for luck and all. I always knew of an adventure, but I never thought it would come so soon. Thanks to my dearest friend Amen, who decided to stop by the patio for some wine tasting. This wasn’t my area of expertise. I definitely discouraged myself in partaking in any outdoor activities. I wasn’t ready for a nonchalant lifestyle.
We walked through these majestic glass mahogany doors that looked as if they had never been touched. The cobble stones that gently pushed against one other, transitioned into a decadent marble. As the sun’s rays, intimately glazed each brick that molded its ways into its own pocket I went to the bathroom which looked like an entirely different country.
“Desiree, can you smell that?” said Amen
“I only smell the lavender, mixed with a musky scent of sex and rich wine.” – I replied
“No, but…who is that?!” – exclaimed Amen.
My fingers tried to clench the glass and as I did it fell in slow motion towards the ground. I ran out into the field, gasping for air. I couldn’t see him, was he actually here? I don’t even know him! How do I make you embrace the tactile nature of this moment? I can’t even explain it to myself. The last position I ever imagined myself in was a feeling of oneness and that with myself. Possession took over me.
Ok, so now you’re thinking, this is far too dramatic. It’s all based off an international film that went really sour in the end. You’re right! That’s exactly how I felt but this was a nominee for an accolade. A desirable state that most of us never see in our lifetime.
I found myself floating above the vineyards. There was no sign of a clear path. You couldn’t cut over or under the bushes because you would ruin the rooting of the grapevines. Pacing myself through these fields I had a moment to appreciate the serene beauty. I pulled off my heels and ran, finding loose grape vines on the ground. As if they were intentionally for me. He was toying with me. My lips pursed towards the light, I had never been so content; so full of life.
Today, I value time and friendship; a great love that baskets all wonders of life. We should take time out to discover ourselves in our limelight. If it is discomforting, it is because you are unknown to the graceful, magnificent version of yourself. As women we hold back from saying what we wish due to fear of hurting one that we love; our significant others, family member or friends. They will forget, but we hold onto these tribulations of a heavier caffeinated session. What I mean to say is that my longing is now fulfilled because I found my true self. The scent of lavender and grapevines have provided me with a moment to unleash my smile into a light that I never knew existed. I encapsulated my personality with my doubts. I not only agitated when approaching others but myself. Doubting the person that you share everything with may and will always drown your ambitions to grow as a couple.
I couldn’t hold my breath. The scent of pinewood and eucalyptus had me entrenched with desire as I walked up the rolling hills. It was nearly sunset and I still hadn’t seen him. My longing was overwhelming. My soul had disowned my past and renewed its vows with this new sensitivity. My senses were enhanced. I was more than just Desiree, I was gratified.
He never came, I am now married to my best friend and if he was to ever appear I knew that he would come in the form of love.
Art Director, Stylist, and Writer: Sarah Hussain, Breath of Henna. http://www.breathofhenna.com. @breathofhenna
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Have a look at our adventure through the vineyard that inspired this collection! This is the experience we want to bring to our customers❤️
Longing a desirable piece, adorn yourself in Banglez newest collection and take a tour on this beautiful journey…August 25th, 2017.
Styling & Story by: @breathofhenna
Wardrobe: breeynmccarney @chandanfashion and @zara
Creative Direction: @banglez_jewelry